You could find it difficult to talk to your parents because you’re afraid they’ll criticise you, think badly of you, or misunderstand you. You probably don’t want your parents to be disappointed or think less of you. It might be easier to remain silent in such a circumstance.
From time to time, the issue at hand is really straightforward. It might be something much more severe and urgent at times. No matter the subject, you prefer to confide in anyone other than your parents, including your peers, friends, siblings, and even Google.
Talking to your parents about your troubles is a great place to start if you want to alleviate tension and get some much-needed relief.
Adolescent physical maturity, moral reasoning, role-taking capacity, identity exploration, and development all have ties to how well you communicate with your family.
To help you communicate effectively with your parents, here are ways to make them understand how you feel.
Prepare before meeting them
Before having the conversation, you should get yourself ready by doing something like writing things down, typing them out on your phone, or practising it in front of the mirror at least once. You should make an effort to organise your thoughts in order to feel more confident when you are having the talk. Once this is finished, you must choose a time and a location.
If you want to avoid catching your parents off guard when they are working or too sleepy to be fully present and hear you, you should tell them that you have something important to talk about. Chat with them about the best time to chat with them. In order to calm your anxiety, you might choose to plan an activity, such as going on a stroll with your parents or having supper with them.
Express yourself and ensure they know how you feel
You should talk to your parents regardless of how you’re feeling. Instead of keeping quiet about your problem because you’re afraid someone will judge you, share how you felt when you first started to think about it.
When the time is right, tell your parents how you’re feeling; they’ll probably be understanding and willing to hear you out. Saying something like, “I’m going to tell you something embarrassing, but I need your advice”, is a good place to start.
Show assurance and clarity; be straightforward
Whenever feasible, try to avoid delaying the resolution of a critical situation until the very last possible moment. Take care not to give the appearance that you failed to address a significant issue or topic by leaving the conversation with that impression.
When you get right to the point and let people know what’s on your mind, they are more likely to pay attention to what you have to say.
Make use of ‘I’
One effective method of expressing oneself and gaining others’ understanding is the use of “I” statements. They place more weight on subjective experiences than on hard evidence. You’ll be describing the feelings you have when your parents do anything. Thus, your parents will not feel accused or evaluated because of your claims.
Try conveying your feelings to your parents together with your facts and ideas. The accountability-laden pronoun “I” is another consideration. Substituting “You never let me do what I want” with “I feel like you don’t think I’m responsible enough to make my own decisions” could lead to a more effective statement. Try not to use terms like “always” or “never” when talking to other people; for instance, “You never listen to me” or “You always do this” can make them defensive.
Using an “I”-statement to express your emotions avoids coming across as judgmental.
Do not argue or complain
There will be instances when your parents just don’t get it. They might still be stubbornly committed to their position even after they try to hear you out. Stay out of arguments and complaints if that’s the case. You and your parents will both feel even more frustrated as a result of this.
Put an end to the discussion if your parents refuse to hear you out. Regardless of how irritated you are, it becomes unhelpful to persist in pushing, arguing, or complaining beyond a certain point. Please accept my utmost apologies. It seems like we’re not communicating well. Perhaps we can find a time to chat later.
In a few days, your parents’ feelings can change. No parent is flawless, and it’s possible that yours will respond too strongly to specific statements or requests.
People may take your earnest attempt to share your viewpoint as an attack, even if you meant no harm. Wait a few days before trying to talk to your parents about it again if the first attempt fails.
Find solace in the company of friends
If your parents fail to comprehend you, it is crucial to have a strong support system. Find pals who will cheer you on and tell you how great you are. Avoid spending time with people who are always complaining and making fun of other people. In spite of your parents’ criticism, having a strong support system for pals can lift your spirits.
When problems arise with your parents, friends can be a great support system. To assist you, talk to someone who isn’t involved in the circumstance. If your parents still don’t get it, ask your friends for advice.
Seek professional help
If the situation is beyond you, consider therapy. Offer to come up with solutions to simplify things if your parent is still apprehensive. You could propose going to family counselling or participating in their therapy sessions alongside them. They are just people who need to talk to someone and learn some new skills; don’t see them as the problem.
Relationships between parents and children, particularly in the teenage and young adult years, can be complicated and difficult. In most cases, parents fail miserably while trying to decipher their children’s innermost feelings and ideas. If your parents still don’t get you, try explaining it to them using these typical examples.
For many parents, the generation difference is a major obstacle to having a family of their own. Your parents came from different backgrounds, had different experiences, and were raised in different eras. Particularly on topics like social media, it has the potential to cause divergent viewpoints.