Friendships fill our lives with an incredible amount of happiness, assisting us in times of difficulty in our search for fun and the opportunity of growth, as well as boosting our spirits at times of celebration and change.
During meals, we share anecdotes and pass the time by making each other laugh and finding common ground, which adds to the sense of family that each of us may or may not have. What steps should you take if you discover that you have romantic feelings for one of your trusted buddies?
What if this closeness and friendship is creating a deep attraction?
Will having sexual contact with your friend be detrimental to the connection you’ve worked so hard to build or will it be beneficial? Let’s look at the two sides of the matter.
Benefits Of Having Sex With Your Friend
When you consider sleeping with your close friend, you might be aware of the potential negative consequences, but have you given any thought to the possible beneficial outcomes?
1. You are not strangers
It’s possible that the sexual chemistry you have for each other in the bedroom will stem from the knowledge you have of each other outside of the bedroom. Anyone who has struggled because of the steep learning curve associated with sexuality would understand why this might be a benefit.
Your best buddy is the person who is most likely to understand how you feel about the anxiety and tension that you encounter due to your job. In addition, he is familiar with your family and friends, which, depending on how you evaluate the situation, may be a favourable or a bad quality.
You don’t need to hunt for someone to have sex with because you already have a partner in crime in the form of your closest buddy. You don’t need to go clubbing or pub hopping or any of the other ideas for dates because there’s a possible sexual partner right there – assuming he’s interested, of course.
2. He would most likely be interested in doing it
Some guys will admit to you that if they have female friends, sex with those friends has crossed their minds at some point. Very few straight, single men would take offense at the suggestion, presuming that those men are straight. One of the reasons why people believe that you can’t just be friends with a guy is because of this, yet there are those who argue that this isn’t true.
It may be that he does not find you attractive or that he views you in such a platonic light that he has not given the possibility any consideration. Because of this, it’s possible that you need to figure out how to get out of the “friend zone.”
3. You Are Comfortable With Each Other
This may actually be an extension of the fact that you know each other very well, but comfort is a key factor when it comes to enjoying sex, particularly for women. However, since you are at ease when you are with your best buddy, you may bypass the awkward stage in which the two of you are getting to know one another and go straight to the stage where you are getting down and dirty.
4. You Can Gain Experience
Being sexually naive can make a person very anxious about having sexual encounters. It’s possible that there’s a good-looking guy around who you’re interested in having sex with but are hesitant to approach because you lack confidence in the bedroom just yet. Your best friend comes into the picture and lends you a hand (or two) in this situation.
What You Risk When You Have Sex With Your Friend
There are certainly risks to watch out for before making your decision. The top of the possible risks have been given below.
1. Feelings are likely to develop
Even if you don’t feel anything for your best buddy, having sexual relations with him might make you feel differently towards him. This is one of the drawbacks of having a relationship that is more like friends with benefits. In spite of the fact that there are rules and boundaries, it is inevitable that one of you will develop feelings. If the other person does as well, that can be a good sign.
Naturally, if you develop feelings for someone even though you are not compatible with them, this could result in a breakup that is difficult to manage. That is never a positive thing.
But what if it’s not balanced? You may experience feelings of resentment or exploitation in this relationship, or you may desire more from it than your close friend is prepared to give you. And this is a difficulty for you because, after all, it is your close pal.
2. The Friendship Becomes Awkward
If you have sexual relations with your best friend, you run the risk of your friendship becoming less close, even if it does not dissolve completely as a result of the encounter. Consider the kinds of topics you could bring up in a conversation with your closest buddy. These topics most likely include sexual activity as well as the romantic or sexual partners you’ve had in the past. But if they are your closest friend, you’ll have to find someone else to talk to because you can’t talk to them.
Nevertheless, it is possible to take it even further. It’s possible that you won’t mind messaging your best friend sixteen times in a row or at random intervals throughout the day. That’s why you keep your closest pals close, right?
However, when you are having sexual relations with one another, it is simple to get overly analytical of your interactions and to experience a feeling of neediness. On the other hand, because you are now the one responsible for doing the dirty work, you could discover that you need some space from your pal.
3. Your Friendship Could Break
The possibility that engaging in sexual activity with a close friend could put an end to that relationship is the one factor that inhibits many people from doing so. You get the impression that in the long run, you won’t have either a sexual partner or a close companion to share your life with.
If the emotional support you receive from your best friend is more important to you, then engaging in sexual activity together might be taking on too much danger. Are you capable of handling the situation if your best buddy suddenly stopped being your best friend?
4. People Would Talk
If you tell other people that you are having sexual thoughts about your best friend or that you are actually having sexual relations with your best friend, you might provoke some anger in those people. Your choice to act in such a “foolish” manner is sure to earn you the scorn of others. It’s possible that other people will urge you to get involved in a romantic relationship, even if you don’t feel ready for one.
You should find someone who can be supportive and balanced without passing judgment on you and your best friend. This does not mean that you can’t tell anyone about this, but you should choose someone who can. It is also possible that you will need to locate someone with whom you can discuss this significant matter.
5. The Sexual Experience Could Be Bad
This is the kind of situation that has the potential to be quite embarrassing. It’s possible that you don’t know how to tell him. It’s possible that one of you will end up feeling offended. Looking someone in the eye after you’ve had sex with them can be uncomfortable at times; if the intercourse was unpleasant and he is your close friend, it can be quite embarrassing.
If You Decide To Proceed
Some people, despite the potential dangers, go on and have sexual relations with their friends. That is a choice that can only be made by you.
You might introduce flirting into your relationship to see if he is able to read the clues you are giving him. Be ready for the possibility that he won’t pick up on those signs, or even worse, that he will but he won’t care about what you have to say.
Alcohol and some substances have been shown to lessen consciousness in some people, which can lead to sexual behavior. Be aware that if you make judgements while under the influence of alcohol or drugs, you might later come to regret them, and you might also lose the ability to legally consent to them.
Remember to engage in more responsible sexual behavior, such as using birth control and condoms, especially if either of you is dealing with other issues.
Establish ground rules for any subsequent physical contact. This will come more naturally to some people than it will to others.
Determine what it is that you will say to potential partners in the future. Will they find out that you had a sexual encounter in the past with your closest friend? By default, partners can experience feelings of jealousy towards close friends, particularly if the individuals in question are of the other gender.
In the end, it is up to you to weigh the pros and cons of your decision. If you can handle them, it is left for you.