Codependency is a sociological theory that explains an unbalanced relationship in which one person lets another’s self-destructive behaviors like addiction, immaturity, irresponsibility, poor mental health, and underachievement affect them.
The term “codependency” can be likened to being in an enmeshed relationship in which one person loses their sense of independence and focuses on the other. It is a situation in which a person prioritizes someone else in everything they do.
As humans, we are dependent on one another to some extent because we can’t do everything alone, but in codependency, someone takes on the task of fixing someone else’s issues that they should be fixing themselves. This always leads to an entwined identity due to a total loss of self-worth.
Charastatistics Of A Codependent Person
A codependent person feels that his or her existence means nothing if another person is not happy.
He or she always takes on the task of fixing someone else’s issues when he or she should be fixing himself or herself.
He or she often loses a sense of self-worth in the process of struggling to meet another person’s needs or to make another person happy.
The following are ten obvious characteristics of a codependent person:
1. Feels it’s their responsibility to solve other people’s problems.
One obvious nature of independent people is the extra mile they always go while struggling to solve other people’s problems.
A co-dependent person believes that making attending to other people’s problems makes them responsible. Thus, they always step in to sort out the person’s issues in a bid to make the person happy.
No matter the kind of problem the person has, a codependent feels it is their responsibility to clean up their mess, change the bad behaviors and make everything right.
2. Offers advice at all times, even when it’s not asked for.
Another characteristic of codependent people is that they always give advice and suggestions even when their advice is not sought for.
They always feel bad when their advice or solutions are ignored or when the person involved doesn’t heed their advice.
3. Has poor communication regarding personal needs, feelings, and wants.
One thing with codependents is that they have difficulty expressing their wants, needs, and feelings. This happens because they probably grew up believing their needs and feelings were not important.
To a codependent person, the most important person is the one in need and they always get to a point at which they can’t separate their needs from those of others.
4. Finds it difficult to adapt to changes.
The personality of codependents makes them desperately want to be in control and this always makes it difficult for them to adapt to change since change creates a situation where things seem to be out of control.
Change can easily send a codependent person into depression or anxiety that needs to be dealt with before he or she can live a normal life again.
5. Chronic anger issues.
Chronic anger is another trait that codependent people have. The anger may be from past feelings and unfair treatment.
They always direct their anger to themselves and the person they feel responsible for. They may feel they are not strong enough because the other person does not respond to their efforts and they feel taken advantage of.
6. Always feel used and underappreciated.
Someone who is codependent always finds himself in a situation in which they feel used or unappreciated. This always happens because the other person may not want extreme attention and care. The codependent sees this as an unappreciated effort but still does not leave.
7. Always struggle to please people to be loved.
A codependent person often feels unlovable and unworthy. They do everything within their reach to be happy until they get exhausted and still try to find ways to make the dysfunctional person love them. They always try not to displease the other person to avoid controversy.
This people-pleasing attitude is mainly seen in people with backgrounds of emotional and physical abuse. They feel the best way to be loved I to be good and do only what pleases others.
8. Does not trust oneself or others.
Codependents lack trust in themselves and others as a result of their constant effort to please others. They feel that people don’t follow through and lie to them regularly, so they find it difficult to count on people.
They also don’t trust their thoughts and feelings because they’ve been disappointed in the past.
Also, they don’t trust themselves because of their low self-esteem.
9. Always expect others to dance to their tune.
Another obvious trait that codependent people have is that they always want people to do as they say. Because they felt lost and unable to control things while growing up, they now feel that people should dance to their tune since they believe they are doing their best for the person.
This is also prompted by the feeling that they are responsible for others’ happiness.
10. Always finds it difficult to make decisions
Codependents often feel their decisions can hurt the other person they live for, so they are always indecisive.
In a relationship in which a codependent person exists, the two people involved are always affected. The codependent person doesn’t know how he or she feels and lives only to make the other person happy. He or she begins to feel guilty when the other person doesn’t act the way he/she wants
The dysfunctional person, on the other hand, often fails to learn from his or her mistakes because he or she will feel that someone will cover up for them and clean up their messes.
This article has presented 10 prominent traits of a codependent person. I hope you find it educational; feel free to share this post with your friends on social media.