How Do You Make Someone Guilty For Hurting You?

Being hurt by anyone, especially someone close to you can be very painful. Whether it’s a thoughtless action, not realizing your worth, or anything at all, so far it rubs you off the wrong way, it can be very painful.

In times like this, you experience varying emotions before finally coming to a place of acceptance. You will be shocked or surprised that whoever it is hurt, you then enter a stage of confusion as to whether they intentionally acted the way they did to hurt you or if it was a mistake before you finally get to the point of accepting the fact that you’ve been hurt. And sometimes, to get to this point of acceptance can take a minute, a day, or more than that. 

But then, like every normal human, you will feel the need to let them understand that they’ve hurt you. So, how do you make someone feel guilty for hurting you? There are many right ways you can go about doing this in such a way that by the time you are done, the person feels very guilty for hurting you, feels remorseful, and apologizes with all sincerity.

Here are a few proven ways you can elicit your desired emotion from the person;

1. Reflect On The Actions That Led To Them Hurting You

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This is the first thing you need to do as it will direct the next or right course of action to take. What exactly happened that led to them hurting you? Are you blowing it out of proportion or you feel rightly hurt? Is this a transfer of aggression from previous acts of hurt from the same person? What role did you play that led to you feeling hurt by this person? Reflect on these first of all so that you don’t make a mistake out of hurt.

2. Analyze The Intent Vs The Action

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This again is one of the reasons why you need to reflect before acting on your hurt. Who is this person that hurt you? How close are they to you, because the closer they are to the bigger the hurt. I know it may be difficult at that point when you are hurt, but rationally analyze the intent of the person. Do they mean to hurt you? The action they did, did they go about it solely to hurt you? What was the intention at that point before you were hurt? If you can analyze this rationally you will be able to have a clear action plan of what to do next and how to make them feel guilty for hurting you.

3. Communicate Your Feelings To Them

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This is a very important step to making someone feel guilty for hurting you. Choose the right venue and the right timing. These two things can make or mare your friendship or relationship with the person if you don’t plan right. When you’ve done this, without playing the blame game, explain to them how they hurt you, and what it did to you, and ask them to explain why they did what they did. 

This act will tell you a lot about the intentions of the person that led to their action, if they hurt you intentionally or if they didn’t.

4. Make Them Put Their Selves In Your Place 

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Most of the time, people don’t understand how their actions hurt others and won’t feel guilty until they can picture themselves in the same situation as the person was when they were hurt. Talk to them in a way that will make them feel empathy towards you. Push their emotions and explain them in a way that they will feel and react sensitively.

5. Find A Way To Draw Their Attention To Your Hurt

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Some people will never accept that they have hurt you until they have seen you act crazy, dramatically or act out of the ordinary. Create a scene, and act in a way that will draw their attention in such a way that they cannot ignore you at all. If you have to scream do so, let them see what their actions have turned you to become.

6. Don’t Let Them Off The Hook Too Easily

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Sometimes it can be tempting to brush off the hurt you feel, especially if it is recurrent and you have gotten used to it, which is wrong. Don’t let them off the hook very easily. Even if they feel guilty and apologize, it’s important to stand your ground and let them know that although you are ready to forgive them, it’s not ok to hurt you and they need to feel the brunt of it. 

Letting them off the hook easily shows them that they can hurt you again and you can easily forgive them and they keep doing it over and over again thereby creating a negative pattern 

7. Give Them A Dose Of Their Own Medicine

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No matter how you try to make them understand, some people will never see how their actions hurt you, neither will they feel guilty or act remorseful, so, give them a dose of their own medicine so that they can see exactly how it feels to be in your shoes. 

If you need to avoid them or give them the silent treatment do so. If you have to hurt them to make them see how it feels like, then call them back to explain to them do so. 

8. Come To A Place Of Acceptance

While all these may work if the person cares for you, it may also not work if this person you are dealing with is someone who doesn’t care about your feelings, and even if you cry out tears in their presence they still won’t care. You need to accept that some people are like that—they just don’t care, and you need to shake off your sadness over their hurt and know that they are not worth it at all. 

9. Cut Them Off And Move On

While you need to accept that some people will always derive joy in hurting you and never accept that you were hurt, it’s also not okay to live with it. Cut them off from your life and move on. You can’t be with someone who doesn’t see your worth and continuously hurts you and still won’t want to accept that they hurt you in any way. You may have no control over how others treat you, but your reaction to how they treat you is totally up to you. Remove them from your life. This may make them feel guilty but by then, it will be too late. This is because this person will still repeat this same action over and over again.

10. Love Yourself Harder

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At the end of the day, what matters most is you, and your mental, physical, and emotional health. Prioritize your well-being as this will help you deal with the emotional aftermath. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Seek out the support of friends or family. Talking through your hurt to someone who cares about you can help you heal and give you valuable insights.


Making someone acknowledge and feel guilty over the pain they’ve caused involves a delicate balance of empathy, communication, and self-care. By approaching the situation with an open heart and a commitment to understanding, individuals can foster healing conversations. So, practice some or all of this and it will help give you exactly what you want—relieving your pain.