Sometimes the men we love no longer see our worth and value. Is it some sort of over familiarity? You begin to wonder when it got to this point. Sometimes you can pinpoint when the whole thing started— when you moved in together, when you celebrated your fifth anniversary together, when he became so busy with work, and so on, and some other times you can’t pinpoint exactly when you realized the man you love no longer values you.
You notice it in his complete change of character towards you, he claims he loves you (and sometimes they do in a ridiculously funny way), but he no longer cares to call you to hear your voice throughout the day, you stay out late and he doesn’t care, he doesn’t care about your opinion like he used to, he out rightly disrespects you privately and in public, and doesn’t care if you both quarrel.
You’ve tried to ignore but you are beginning to get sad and annoyed that the man you love does not realize your worth. At this point, you are at a crossroads and there are only two things you can do—leave him or try to make him realize your worth.
If you love him and know in a place in your heart he loves you even if he isn’t acting like it at the moment, the only option you need to pick is making him realize your worth and start respecting you again.
This can be a long journey that will make you rediscover yourself, change the way things ran in your relationship or marriage, and cause more quarrels in the early stage, but the end part is guaranteed— it will finally look like a scale fall-off his eyes, he will realize how he has wronged and hurt you and he will make amends.
So, in this article, I will be telling you how you can make him realize your worth. Let’s get right into it.
1. You Need To Realize Your Worth
In this journey, (yes, making him realize your worth is a journey) the first thing you need to do is to realize your worth first of all. That is the only way you can know he does not realize your worth. It starts with you first and foremost.
You need to know you are beautiful, you are smart and you have everything anyone will need in a partner. You need to know it and you need to believe in your accomplishments and unique qualities without a doubt. Because you do not believe it might be the reason he is treating you the way he does.
2. Try To Kill The Habit Of Being The Only One Making All The Plans
He might be taking you for granted and not acknowledging or realizing your value because you willingly make plans for him or both of you that normally he would have gone out of his way to make. He is always so busy so you pick out times and venues for dates all the time, you always take care of planning family birthdays, you take care of planning gifts and events for his parents, and go out of your way to pick gifts for them.
You’ve done this for a long while and now he feels like it’s your duty and he no longer thanks you like he used to when you first started doing it. Pause this habit for a while and let him feel the vacuum. Let him realize who has been having his back all this while and how important you’ve been in his life all this while. And even when he realizes it, don’t be in a hurry to continue it immediately.
3. Texting Him First? Stop It!
In no disrespect to ladies who ask guys out, it’s general knowledge that guys do the chasing. During this time they are always the first and in a rush to call and text all the time and you love the attention because every woman loves attention. And now after some time because you’ve fallen for him and can’t stay more than 6 hours without checking up on him you begin to do it and he has stopped completely.
Since he doesn’t know your value he may not notice it the first and second day, but he definitely will notice by the third day when he hasn’t received that beep he claimed was a nuisance before that you have stopped texting him first. At this point, he will take a pause and remember how you’ve been the only one doing it all this time. He is worried as to why you stopped, then he will become scared that you are directing the attention you used to give him to someone else who realizes your worth and values you.
4. Stop Doing Him Favors
Whether it’s stopping by every weekend to do his house chores, helping him arrange his daily schedule to keep him organized for the day, running ‘little’ errands for him in your free time, buying him lunch, or cooking for him when he is so busy to get a break, pause it for now.
Now don’t get me wrong, acts of service may be your love language and it is not a bad thing at all, it’s amazing. But when he has started taking your acts for granted and now makes it feel like it’s your responsibility, and still doesn’t appreciate all the efforts you put into it then there is a big problem, and you need to pause for a while to make him realize the impact you’ve been making in his life all these while.
5. Allocate More Of Your Time To Others
In normal human nature, people tend to sometimes take people who are always around them for granted. He knows that once he calls you, you are there to be with him, every time he comes home you are home waiting to welcome him, and he begins to take you for granted, it’s time you begin to spend your time with other people.
Get a hobby, join a club, and go out with friends during the weekend instead of being at home wondering when he will start looking at you in a new light. When he sees that your attention is slowly shifting from him and is now unlike the times when you beg him to spend time with you, he will begin to retrace his steps.
6. Give More Attention To Yourself
Begin to focus more on yourself. You are more than enough and you know it that is why you also know that he is not realizing your worth. If you’ve been compromising a lot for his sake, going out of your way to please him all the time, and not doing what makes you happy just because you want to make him happy, it’s time to stop and focus on making yourself happy. When he notices that you are now the happier version of yourself and no longer cares for what he does that hurts he will take it upon himself to begin investigating what changed.
7. Communicate Your Feelings To Him
Tell him what you noticed and how you feel about it. Have a long conversation about it, not an argument. Sometimes (if he loves you), he may not even realize he has been unconsciously doing all these and making you very sad, all it takes and reminding him of your worth in a heart-to-heart conversation, pointing out some of his recent attitudes, reminding him of scenarios where this happened and let him know that what how is doing is slowly breaking your once happy relationship or marriage.
8. Talk To Someone
It’s okay to seek professional help or talk to someone who you believe can help you by talking to him, talking to both of you together, or giving you an idea of what to do that can work. Yeah, it’s not okay to talk to everyone about your relationship or marriage issues, especially in a situation where he doesn’t realize your worth, this is because if you talk to so many people you will get varying advice that will confuse you, and if you talk to the wrong person or people you will make things worse. You need to talk to the right person.
How do you know the right person? In this instance, the right person may not be your sibling, your parents, or your friends. This is because they might be biased in their opinion. After all, they can see you are hurt by the whole issue and they don’t like seeing you that way. It has to be someone who cares about both of you in equal measure and wants your relationship to work.
The journey to making him realize your worth is not solely about seeking validation from him but, most importantly, about recognizing and celebrating your value. It’s a delicate balance of self-discovery, effective communication, and the cultivation of a healthy, supportive relationship.
It’s essential to remember that this may take time, but at the end of the day, it is worth it. Patience, coupled with open communication, is paramount.