Most single women wonder, “Why can’t I be happy without a man?” and “Why do I feel incomplete without a man.”
The truth is that a woman can survive without a man, and remember that self-love is the greatest love one can ever have. The ability to love yourself and see greatness in you even when no one else does The ability to know you deserve better than the bare minimum or crumbs of love, even if that is what you can see at that moment. However, this does not mean that having a partner is bad, you can still be happy while searching for the right man who deserves a place in your heart.
But sadly, sometimes most women see their self-worth through the eyes of men and constantly need validation from a man. That’s why some women don’t know how to stay single because once a man leaves their life, they don’t know their worth anymore. Such women jump in and out of relationships without allowing themselves to heal, learn, and grow from the past one. And in most cases, if the validation they get from the man is positive, they see themselves in a good light, but if they fall in love with awful men, they begin to have low self-esteem and zero confidence and begin to see themselves as less beautiful, worthless, and not deserving of love.
The biggest truth you won’t hear often is that nobody will love you as much as you will love yourself—not your mother, your siblings, your partner, or your friends. Most times, they will put themselves before you. It’s not because they do not love you; it’s because they love themselves more than they love you.
Loving yourself without a man will help you see endless opportunities that would have been limited to your man’s validation. and will make you realize how special you are, regardless of who is in your life. When the man finally comes along, you’ll be able to tell when he’s treating you right and when he’s treating you wrongly.
Here are seven tips on how to love yourself and be happy without a man;
1. Take yourself on a date
Let me explain this better to you. There is one thing all females have in common, and that is wanting to be spoiled and taken care of. Learn to spoil yourself and take yourself out once in a while. even if it’s just once a month. Regardless of your income or your responsibilities that drain that income, set out a plan and take yourself out. It can be to a restaurant where you can go and order good food, or to a spa to get a good massage and pampering, or to a vacation where you lodge in a hotel, whether it’s within your city or outside your city, or to go on a tour. Anything you thought you could only do if you were in the company of a man, do it yourself and learn to love it all over again.
2. Know that nobody is better than you.
Everyone is unique in a special way, including you. That’s why there can never be two of you on earth. You may have a doppelganger or a twin, but you are uniquely special. That’s why you have to constantly remind yourself. If a man leaves you and tells you that he is going to find someone better than you, tell him it’s a big fat lie. He may find someone more compatible with him, just as you eventually will. So don’t let anyone kill your confidence with such ridiculous thoughts.
3. Daily reminders and meditation.
Make it a daily activity, just the same way you take your meal and your water, to remind yourself that you are beautiful, that you are perfect just the way you are, and that no man is in charge of your happiness but you; as such, you won’t put the power to be happy into the hands of another person. If you constantly say this to yourself, you’ll start believing it in no time.
4. A little selfishness never hurt anyone.
This can be difficult for you to start, especially when you are too much of a good person. Learn to prioritize yourself over others at times. You shouldn’t discomfort or displease yourself all the time just so that you can please someone else. All you do in the end is hurt yourself, and the person you are disliking most likely won’t do the same for you if the situation were reversed. Learn to say no, learn to say maybe some other time, and learn to say “that time can’t work because that is my “me” time.” People will survive. They may be angry, but your mental health and happiness are more important than how any other person feels.
5. Wear things that make you feel comfortable and beautiful.
Society has a petty definition of beauty. Society and social media have made everyone believe that everyone sees beauty as being tall and skinny, having a big ass, having a certain kind of face, or wearing short dresses with high heels at all times. But this is very silly. And the shocking thing is that sometimes even your own internalized sexism affirms your thoughts of inadequacy because you feel you don’t fit into those standards or can’t wear these things. You are valuable because you are you, not because of your body or what you wear on it. Wear what makes you feel good. If it’s a lot or if it’s a little, if it’s skinny jeans or tight jeans, heels or sneakers, wear what makes you feel confident, comfortable, and happy.
6. Build yourself
Work on things about yourself that you don’t like. not because someone else doesn’t like it, but because you want a better version of yourself. If you feel you are chubby, hit the gym and work hard till you get the boy you want. Do you want an extra degree to enable you to move up your career ladder? Purchase it as long as it makes you happy. That is how you show yourself, through love.
Surround yourself with people who inspire you to be better.
This is a very important tool on the road to self-love. You need people on this journey who will always tell you the truth in love, not condemnation. People who will point out the truth to you when you need it and push you to be a better version of yourself. Learn to let go of people who bring toxicity into your life and protect your energy. It’s not wrong to remove yourself from situations or the company of people who are draining you.
Give yourself room to fail and to make good decisions.
We so often doubt ourselves and our ability to do what’s right, when most of the time we do know in our hearts what’s best and wait for the validation of our man because we believe he knows better. Remember that your feelings are valid. You’re not losing touch with reality. Give yourself room to grow, room to fail and learn from your mistakes, and believe in yourself to make good decisions for yourself.