Why Does My Ex Hate Me So Much?

On different online forums like Reddit and Quora, I’ve come across a handful of questions around “Why does my ex hate me when he dumped me“, “why does my ex hate me when I did nothing“, and so many other breakup questions.

You’re reading this post because you could be wondering, “Does my ex dislike me?” Are you pondering how this situation came to be and what you should do? Fear not, my friend, as in this piece we’ll break it all down, starting with the major indicators that your ex still dislikes you, and how to handle an ex who still dislikes you. So let’s start working.

Try to identify the reasons why it feels like your ex despises you so that you can determine whether it is true. It could be or it could not be that they hate you. After all, they can just be in pain from the split, require some distance, or even simply be resentful (a key stage in the grieving process.)

They’re venting their frustration on you as a result, but it has nothing to do with you. After all, breakups are difficult. And each person uniquely approaches them. We’re still basing our decisions on the notion that your ex despises you at the moment.

Being that everything is still so raw at the moment, feelings are also probably going to be a little bit more elevated and emotional. However, if you start to wonder, “Does my ex hate me?” it might be wise to have some perspective on it. How can you tell whether your ex hates you? You need to pay attention to the signs below.

1. You abandoned them.

Even if you have good reasons to stop the relationship, your ex can still view the decision as unfair and a betrayal. You two were in a serious relationship, after all. Why couldn’t you guys resolve things before you had to leave? That’s perhaps what’s going through his head, at least. He might be extremely hurt, and the simplest solution is to hate you.

2. You used them as a ruse.

It’s difficult to forget this sting. No matter the circumstance, cheating is unacceptable in some people’s eyes. Perhaps you were “on a break” like in the Friends television series, but as you may recall, given those constraints, it’s difficult to determine who is correct.

Did you have a breakup at the time? Most likely, it won’t matter. You might spend the rest of your life in trouble if your ex believes you cheated.

3. You made hurting comments.

When arguments result in breakups, tempers tend to flare. Do you recall everything you said to your ex that was hurtful? He most likely does. There are certain things that, once spoken, cannot be forgiven. There are moments when you watch what you say and what a d*ck move it was, yet you still say it anyway, even after offering an apology.

4. You acted violently.

There’s a good probability that your ex does not need to work things out with you if you were aggressive to him sexually, psychologically, or emotionally. You inflicted some sort of harm on him, and now that he realizes that your actions were improper, he has concluded that it would be best to avoid you in the future. For this reason, he might be avoiding you or at the very least, seems to despise you.

5. You robbed them.

What claim do they make that you possess of theirs? Do they feel obligated to keep whatever you two purchased together? Are their possessions still with you? There is a strong likelihood that they are only upset and want their belongings back, not because they want to. but just to give them a cause to be irate. You are aware that they have never worn that beloved old t-shirt, after all.

6. You advanced too quickly.

Did you move in with a new man within a week after a long marriage? That will appear suspicious. Although your engagement may have developed quickly in that manner, it appears to your ex that you were unfaithful. You might have broken your ex’s chances of getting back again with you if you currently have a new special someone in your life.

7. All your mutual friends were taken by you.

Mutual friends tend to part ways if a relationship terminates. You may not be to blame for this, yet your ex can still hold you accountable for it. Your ex likely despises the reality that those individuals preferred you to him, but it wasn’t your responsibility. It’s simple to make you the victim, though, if he wants someone to criticize or condemn for the wrongs in his life.

8. You mocked them.

Did you divulge all of your ex’s faults to his friends and family or did you post about them publicly on social media? I don’t care if I get revenge on my ex this way; he hates me, you might have reasoned. So now you know why he probably despises you too. People often don’t forgive that readily; you publicly attacked him.

9. You put them in danger.

Did you spill their dirty little secrets to their supervisor or coworkers, which you knew would land them in hot water at the office? Or, worse yet, did you inform the authorities about his marijuana addiction before telling his mother about his stash of pornographic material? Yes, that was quite justified at the time. They undoubtedly detest you now for what you made them go through, but you were angry and careless at the time.

10. When they needed you, you turned a blind eye.

It’s possible that you were dealing with a No Call moment, you simply wanted some space, or you simply didn’t give a damn when he texted you. But did you understand what he desired? Maybe he wanted to talk things out but now he is hurt.

Final thoughts

You should be able to tell their feelings from their behavior. It’s a solid indication that your ex doesn’t want to talk to you anymore if they are neglecting you or have cut off all contact (or that they are recovering by themselves). Let it go, then look for someone else. Nevertheless, if you are still concerned about someone disliking you. 

Discover what went wrong, then address the underlying cause. To get insight from the incident, you might want to think about seeking counseling. The best course of action is to develop and overcome what happened. Make a fresh start in someone else’s life.