We all want to someday off school, but would your parents ever let you be? I guess all parents are the same. They want you to have 100% attendance in school and to participate in all activities as though that is all there is to life. The only time your mum will willingly propose you stay home and miss school is when you are sick.
Sickness does not just come out of the blues. It is not magic that you wish for and will be. Disease happens when there is an imbalance in your body’s normal function. Although sickness occurs due to unwanted factors, I’ve got a cheat. Some proven tricks can make you sick easily and cause you to skip school.
7 ways to make yourself sick instantly
1. Expose yourself to cold
The body’s normal temperature range is within 45°-47° Celsius. Anything below this range makes you cold. Exposure to extreme cold makes you have flu and fever. To make yourself have a low temperature and catch a cold, follow the following steps;
· Bath with cold water and wet your hair as well.
· Do not dry your body or hair with a towel or cloth
· Do not run any body cream or lotion. Rubbing cream/lotion will make you feel warm and defeat our goal.
· Wear extremely short and light clothes.
· Switch on the Air conditioners and set them to the coldest degree.
· Resist the urge to cover yourself and feel as cold.
· Repeat two to three times
After this much exposure to cold, you’ll surely catch a generous amount. Your nose will be up and running, and you’ll shiver from the cold. You’ll then sit back at home, not worrying about school, while your mother prepares her local soup for treating cold and flu.
2. Eat spoilt food
Spoilt food will make you sick in no time. Take out those spoiled veggies and meats from the fridge and prepare a fast meal. Eating it will not be pleasant but remember the target. You are doing all that to escape going to school for a few days.
After eating spoilt food, it’s just a matter of 1-2 hours before your digestive system begins to react. You will end up vomiting and frequently visit the restroom. When taking spoilt food, ensure you go for slightly spoilt food.
Avoid any rotten food that probably has maggots forming from it. Consuming terrible food may lead to a severe sickness that may get you hospitalized.
3. Expose yourself to heat
An imbalance in the body temperature will make you sick. A temperature above 47° C will make you run a fever. Here is how to go about it
- Use boiling water for bathing.
- Switch off the Air conditioners so the room can be humid and hot.
- Wear thick clothes and cover yourself with at least two or more blankets.
- Repeat the same step three to four times at an interval of 30 minutes.
- Keep yourself busy with your phone or TV to keep you awake all night.
- Sleep for just 1 hour (preferably from dawn to sunrise). Make sure you are covered with two or more thick blanket
With these steps, you will have a blazing hot temperature in the morning. My sibling and I have a nickname for this trick, “incubation night.” How funny is that?
4. Overdose in coffee and deprive yourself of sleep
While coffee can be good for your health, taking a high dose will make you sick. This is how to use coffee to make yourself fall sick fast and easily.
- Take as many cups as you can. You don’t have to gulp everything at once; take each cup at intervals, and you’ll notice you’ve taken more than you think you can handle.
- Keep yourself awake all night.
You will become weak, tired, and sick in the morning.
5. Take little to no water
Imagine how you feel when you are thirsty and the relief you get after drinking a chilled glass of water. Depriving yourself of water is one easy way to fall sick fast. Some valuable tips on how to use dehydration to fall sick are;
- Take a small amount of room-temperature water in the morning.
- Throughout the day, avoid any food that has high water content. Eat food like bread, cake or rice.
- Subject yourself to stressful activities and exercises that will make you thirsty.
- Resist the urge to take water.
This is a bit dangerous but reversing dehydration is pretty straightforward. After a whole day of staying dehydrated, you will wake up the next morning sick, pale, and having little to no stamina.
6. Participate in strenuous activities
Stress your body beyond its limit. Lift some heavy loads and do some strenuous exercise. Engage yourself with any activity that will exhaust you and strain your muscles. The next day, you will wake up sick, feeling weak, and not having any zeal to go out of your room.
To make yourself sicker, take a few cups of coffee and stay up late to get a few hours of sleep. This will disturb your body’s homeostasis, making you run a high temperature and fever.
7. Eat a portion of food you‘re allergic to
Are you lactose intolerant? Do you have a good you are allergic to? This food may come in handy because anytime you take it, it’ll get you sick. One way to use your food allergy is;
- If you are lactose intolerant, take 2-3 cups of milk.
- After a few hours, it will either make you throw up or develop diarrhea.
Vomiting and diarrhea are serious sicknesses that your mum will have to make you stay home for treatment. She may go the extra mile to prepare your favorite food.
Your health is essential, but sometimes you must fall sick to get a break. However, it is not advisable to constantly subject yourself to getting sick. But once in a while, that is your easier escape from school work, assessments, or those practical sessions you dislike.