Getting into a relationship with a partner who cheats can be the worst dating experience one could have, and because of this, many people who are already hurt in a relationship or have heard hurtful stories from others are always skeptical about starting a new relationship.
Even in committed, monogamous partnerships, serial cheats frequently deceive their partners. They often suffer from a lack of self-accountability and poor impulse control. Some serial cheaters feel regret for their acts, while others display little to no regret. Most of the time, it’s challenging for individuals to break their cheating habits, but it’s doable with the appropriate actions and goals.
What a serial cheater is?
Serial cheating doesn’t have a clear psychological meaning, but it usually means a pattern of cheating in romantic relationships. Consistent with research, cheating can occur repeatedly throughout a lifetime. Really, those who cheated on a previous partner have a threefold higher likelihood of doing so in their subsequent relationship.
Research indicates that up to 20% of men and 13% of women have cheated on their partners, despite the fact that figures on infidelity can be hazy, variable, and probably underreported by people. It’s interesting to notice that adulthood is when infidelity peaks. When someone says, “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” they typically mean repeatedly or chronically cheating.
Signs of a serial cheater
Serial cheaters frequently display predictable behaviors. These approaches, however, won’t initially appear to be evident. Furthermore, whether or not you have a bad feeling about your spouse, you would possibly want to give them the benefit of the doubt. But although they don’t guarantee infidelity, the frequent indications should be understood because they might point to more serious relationship issues.
1. They have a track record of lying
Infidelity can become a habit, and it may be the most obvious sign of lying that is still going on. If a person has previously cheated on their partner, they are 2-3 times more likely to do so again in a relationship.
Although the explanation for this phenomenon is not fully known, cheaters may likely think it justifiable to continue their activity and find it simpler to repeat it than learn from prior mistakes.
Furthermore, they could not have known why they cheated, which makes it challenging to prevent doing it in subsequent relationships.
2. They reject commitment out of fear
Trauma or a history of dysfunctional relationships could also be the cause of commitment problems. These problems may cause anxiety and avoidance, which could cause some people to have self-destructive behavior in their monogamous union.
Whether or not they’re aware of it, their decision to cheat gives it out. Some people, especially those that engage in avoidance behaviors, won’t even attempt to hide what they’re doing in case their spouse finds out and ends things for them.
3. They disparage previous partners
Cynicism about past relationships is a common trait of serial cheaters. They could accuse ex-partners of being demanding or even “crazy.” Instead of taking responsibility for their mistakes, they will excuse their bad behavior by blaming it on someone else.
In a way, this can cleanse them of any unresolved guilt. Additionally, it may intentionally portray them as unreliable or untrustworthy,
4. With devices, they become incredibly secretive.
Serial cheaters frequently take extraordinary measures to protect their privacy. Giving their partner access to their phone or computer may be met with resistance or a flat-out refusal from them. When near you, they put their phone on silent or take the phone and leave the room.
Related: 55 Relationship Cheating Quotes
5. They continue to tell you that they’ve changed
A cheater could admit to having previously cheated. However, these admissions are frequently accompanied by sweeping declarations of how they have improved. The majority of the time, they keep blaming outside forces, like the other person, to justify their actions. They claim that history won’t repeat itself despite your skepticism, and they might offer a plausible defense or justification for you.
6. They claim you cheated
Serial cheaters could accuse you of cheating by using projection. A cheater rarely likes to acknowledge their tendencies or deeds. They will therefore accuse their partners of being disloyal to divert attention.
7. They present you with gifts.
Serial cheaters may experience shame over their behavior. Unfaithful partners typically have no malice toward you. To make up for this uncomfortable feeling, they might give you expensive gifts or bad surprises. These can occasionally be followed by an apology (if they were caught in the act). These gifts may also appear at random times, which can fuel your concerns.
8. They avoid discussing the future with you.
Many serial cheaters can’t see a future with their spouses over the long term, even though they appear to be dedicated. They refrain from discussing “going to the next step,” whether that be marriage, having kids, or living together. They will occasionally make excuses to justify their avoidance or delay.
9. They’re obsessed with looking good
If serial cheater wants to find a new partner, they could become too focused on their image. They may spend more time exercising, alter their hair, or purchase flattering new clothing, all of which could be subtle signs of this. When they leave the house, they may begin to dress very differently, which is frequently a telling indicator that they may be meeting up with a new fling.
10. They make out often
Next to their spouses, serial cheaters may brazenly flirt with other people. Their nonverbal clues make these flirtatious acts stand out the most. In addition to complimenting people often, they might also make them laugh, touch them, and tease them gently. When challenged, they frequently claim that they were only acting amicably.
11. Your family and friends express concerns
Since they know you best, your loved ones might express worries about your partner to you. They might notice flirtatious or covert behavior and express their feelings to you. Of course, if you genuinely care about your partner, it’s normal to write them off as being paranoid. However, close friends and family can occasionally identify interpersonal blind spots.
12. They cheated on you previously.
Sadly, if your partner has cheated on you in the past, they are probably going to do it again. Even if they claim it was an isolated incident or that they won’t repeat it, this is still true. Even though people can change, your partner needs to fully own up to what happened, admit to cheating, and then take the required actions to address the issue and alter their behavior.
Serial infidelity frequently has profound effects on everyone. People often use coping mechanisms to explain their actions, and serial cheaters may do the same. They may find it hard to keep relationships going without fully understanding why. Being betrayed can have a serious negative impact on one’s self-esteem.