120 Dark Humor Jokes With No Limits

Dark humor can be amusing to some people, but it can also offend certain people. For those who don’t know what it means, a dark humor joke is a form of humor that makes fun of topics that are often seen as offensive or disturbing. It also goes by the name “dark comedy.” Dark humor covers issues like disease, poverty, racism, death, and many more.  It has a long history that dates back to Ancient Greece.

Dark jokes are mocking evil, making fun of the villains, and encouraging others to laugh in the face of difficulty.  When these topics are brought up, some individuals tend to feel uncomfortable. Because of how the conversation alone offends people.

Dark humor jokes are risky to tell, these rules can only be told in your friend group or around your family members who understand your twisted sense of humor. This is not a joke to say at your office.

Surprisingly, even when dark jokes seem like cruelty or a lot too much, there are a lot of people who love dark jokes. Their sense of humor is just a little twisted, and they would say to you that they love to laugh at jokes that aren’t supposed to be funny but funny to them. And you will see them laughing and hollering at these dark jokes. 

For example, dark jokes like when a young man sat and waited for people to get settled down so he could give them a few-second lecture on how he seduced an obese woman. When everyone settled, he began, and then he dropped his secret. Saying “It was just a piece of cake peeps!” 

These are the kind of dark jokes you will be seeing in this article. That is 120 dark jokes with no limits. 

120 dark jokes with no limits

  1. We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for, I don’t know.” — W. H. Auden
  1. My friend died doing what he loved… Heroin.” — DeAnne Smith
  1. When I go to weddings with my old relatives, they keep saying “you’re next“, ” so I started saying the same to them at funerals. 
  1. The doctor smiled at his patient and said “You’ll be at peace soon. 

The man asks terrified: “Am I dying, Doctor?” 

Doctor: “No, Mr, your wife is”

  1. You are welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Good to behold so many new faces.
  1. Grandma: Most women your age are married, why aren’t you married? Me: Most people your age are dead, why aren’t you dead?
  1. “Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.” — Unknown
  1. The doctor announced to me that I only have one year to live, so what did I do? I shot him. Then the judge gave me 15 years. You see the situation is solved!
  1. “I’m going to donate my body to science, and keep my dad happy – he always wanted me to go to medical school.” – Lee Mack
  1. Question 1, Do you know why the man missed the funeral? Ans: it is because he isn’t a mourning person.

Related: 100 Best Yo Mama Jokes That Are Hilarious

  1. “Say what you want about the deaf.” — Jimmy Carr
  1. “When your past shows up to haunt you, make sure it comes after supper, so it doesn’t ruin your whole day.” — Jay Wickre
  1. Hear me out, people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face, for example when you shove them down the stairs.
  1. Do you know where you will find a dog with no legs? It is exactly where you left it.
  1. “If you’re choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, “Heimlich maneuver,” and all will be well. Trouble is, it’s difficult to say “Heimlich maneuver” when you’re choking to death.” – Eddie Izzard
  1. The vivid similarity between a pregnant teenager and the child she is pregnant with? Both of them are thinking, “Dang! my mother is going to kill me”
  1. Priest: “Do you have a last plea?” The Murderer who was sitting on an electric chair: “Yes I do. Can you please hold my hand for a minute?”
  1. “I gave my girlfriend something she didn’t expect for Valentine’s day…Chlamydia” – Frankie Boyle
  1. The special treats in a restaurant for cannibals are;  Heads, knees, hearts, shoulders, and toes. 
  1. “I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.” — Johnny Carson
  1. The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t possess a Lamborghini in my garage but…
  1. What is the worst mix of sicknesses? It is Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but you can’t remember where.
  1. “Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.” Jimmy Carr
  1. “I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.” – Chris Rock
  1. “The most I can hope for is to die in a pose that confuses future archaeologists.” — Yahtzee Croshaw
  1. If you think I would make fun of Alzheimer’s, just forget about it. 
  1. “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.” – Mel brooks
  1. A man and a woman are strolling through the woods in the middle of the night when the frightened woman says “I’m scared”. The man looked over at her and said,  “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”
  1. There are a lot of conversations about starting up families, but no one has ever talked about completing what they began.
  1. What do you call a dog who has no legs? It doesn’t make a difference what you call it. It won’t come to answer you.
  1. Why do women often look thin after a miscarriage? They don’t lose their figure when they don’t go on the full term.
  1. What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents called her Jessica, so we should perhaps continue to call her the same. And she was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

Related: 120 Best Dad Jokes That Are Hilarious

  1. The graveyard is so overpacked. So many people are just dying to get in. 
  1. Have you heard about the blind prostitute? Well, you gotta hand it to her. 
  1. One man’s mess is another man’s fortune.
  1. If someone gets burned to death, do they receive a discount at the crematorium?
  1. “I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen
  1. Why did the orphan boy rob the bank? He wants to be wanted. 
  1. Do you know what the cannibal calls a pregnant woman? They call her a meal deal.
  1. A free piece of advice, if you are ever in doubt, just blow something up. 
  1. The other day while I was at the park, a mother sat down beside me and after a while, she leaned over and asked me, “Which one of the cars is yours?” I glanced at her and said, “I haven’t decided yet.”
  1. A blind girl tells her boyfriend that she is seeing someone else. It is either shocking or big news. 
  1. I had just bet my friend $5 that he would drown in that lake … It was a bittersweet win.
  1. What did the elephant say to the nude man? It said, excuse me but how do you breathe through that tiny little thing? 
  1. Son: “Father, have you gotten the results of the DNA test?” Father: “Call me Conrad.”
  1. “The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they’re going to be when you kill them.” — William Clayton
  1. For real why can’t one get a book on how to commit suicide at a library? It is simply because you wouldn’t bring it back. 
  1. I’d never needed unhealthy relationships to inform me about broken relationship vices; some of you know my parents are perfect examples of that. 
  1. “British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!” – Jimmy Carr
  1. The reason why two Asian parents have an Asian baby if you don’t know is just that two wongs don’t make a white. 
  1. “Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.” — Will Rogers
  1. I never knew how important it is to have a good vocabulary. If I had known, I would have known the difference between the words’ antidote’ and ‘anecdote,’ maybe one of my best friends would still be alive by now
  1. My therapist said time heals will heal all wounds. So guess what?  I stabbed her! 
  1. You get yourself a long rope when you get into a relationship. 
  1. A son to his Dad “I think I have an imaginary girlfriend Dad.” The father sighs and replies, “You can do better.”  “Thanks, Dad,” the son responds.

The father shook his head and turned to face him, “I wasn’t talking to you son, I was talking to your girlfriend.”

  1. I will never forget my grandma’s last words to me before she died. We were in the kitchen when she said “Are you still holding the ladder?” 
  1. Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”

The Patient: “Give me the good news first Doctor.”

Doctor: “Your test results are out, and you’ve got just two days to live.”

The Patient: “Is that the good news Doctor? What’s the bad news then?”

Doctor: “The bad news is that I have been meaning to reach you for two days now.”

Related: 100+ Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends

  1. Girls hyping up each other in the US. You the bomb girl.’ ‘No, you’re  the bomb.’ An argument in the Middle East.
  1. “If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.” – Steven Wright
  1. “Build a man a fire to warm up, and he’ll be warm for a day. But set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for his whole life.”
  1. Death – to blink for an exceptionally long time. – Robin Williams
  1. My wife said having sex is better on holidays. I just wish she didn’t have to tell me via email.
  1. My wife and I have agreed that we don’t want kids. The only difficulty is we already have three.
  1. I knocked at my granny’s house today, and she asked who I was. I guess Alzheimer’s already got her good. 
  1. Just when I thought I was being a gentleman by opening the door for a lady, she screamed and went flying out of the damn plane. 
  1. I went to my friend’s house, and he asked me to feel at home. I smiled and relaxed, taking matters into my own hands, I had him thrown out of the house. I don’t enjoy having visitors after all. 
  1. “My father always used to say, “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger,” – ’til the accident” Jimmy Carr
  1. Son: Father how do stars die? Father: it’s usually an overdose. 
  1. A conversation between a man and a woman on a date. Man “Yes, I work with animals”

Woman: “That’s so adorable, I love a man who cares about animals. So are you a vet?” 

Man: “No, I’m not. I am a butcher,” he responds. 

  1. Where did Cara go during the bombing? Everywhere
  1. Wife: “I want another child” Husband: “That’s good, I also certainly don’t like this one”
  1. “I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”  – Joan Rivers
  1. My grandfather was arguing about how kids currently cannot live without technology. So guess what I did? I unplugged his life support. 
  1. The reason why Christmas trees are banned in mental hospitals is that the ornaments will end up not being the only thing hanging. 
  1. Man: How do you prepare your chicken miss? Waiter: Nothing unusual sir, we just tell them they’re going to die soon.
  1. I would say a dead baby joke, but I chose to abort. 
  1. Dentist: “This will pain a little.” Patient: “OK.” Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your partner.”
  1. What does my father have similar to Nemo? The two can’t be found.
  1. Why cannibals don’t eat comedians? Is Because they taste funny!
  1. The reason why Orphans play baseball well is that they have no idea where home is. 
  1. I’ll never forget my Father’s last dying words. “Son, Erase my search history” 
  1. The kidnapper brought just one bag to dispose of my body. I smiled because, unlike the mean girls in school, he thinks I’m skinny.
  1. I just came across my wife’s Tinder account, in her profile she wrote an intense provoking lie, “She is not fun to be around”.
  1. I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold jewelry. I was about to run and tell my wife when I remembered the reason why I was shoveling a hole in the garden. 
  1. “I intend to live forever or die trying.” —Groucho Marx
  1. It’s sad how my good friend was struck from the medical register because he slept with a patient. He was a great vet.
  1. “Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period.” – George Carlin
  1. I sincerely love telling jokes about orphans, let’s be real, what will they do, are they going to tell their parents?
  1. How to know you are the ugly one in a friend group is if you are always handed the camera for group photos.
  1. Sadly I was raised as an only child, which I think was very difficult for my sister. 
  1. A doctor walks into a room of a dying patient and said to him calmly,  “I’m sorry Mr, but you only have ten left.”The patient asks him, “Ten what, Hours? Days? Weeks?” The doctor glanced over at him through the rim of his glasses and says, “Nine…”
  1. Ever since the pandemic began, my wife would just stand there sadly looking through our window. I don’t know what else to do, I should maybe go let her in.
  1. My girlfriend broke up with me, so I snatched her wheelchair. Now Guess who came crawling back?
  1. “I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.”— Demetri Martin
  1. My wife left a little note on the fridge saying, “This is not working anymore” I honestly don’t know what she’s talking about, the fridge is working just fine.
  1. Two hunters while in the woods, one of them collapses. His hunting companion immediately called 911. “My friend isn’t breathing anymore,” he shouts into the phone. “Calm down,” the operator tells him. “I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There’s a short silence and then a gunshot follows. The man gets back on the phone and says, “OK, now what?”
  1. If at first, you don’t succeed… then skydiving isn’t for you.
  1. What’s that yellow thing that can’t swim? A bus that is full of schoolchildren.
  1. My grandfather was the type to never throw away anything. He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade
  1. I’ve personally stopped making jokes about Covid. Because it flu over your heads people. 
  1. Son: Daddy, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me like your son? Dad: Don’t be stupid son, you were an accident. I never loved you at all.
  1. I have learned that the only difference between a gun and a rope is the interval one takes to make a knot with either of them. 
  1. “Swimming is good for you, especially if you’re drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout, but you also don’t die” – Jimmy Carr
  1. We heard there’s a person who is capable of murder in every friend group. I suspected it was Sam, so I killed him before he could cause any harm to us. 
  1. I have several jokes about jobless people, but sadly none of them work.
  1. “I’ve spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.” – Anthony Jeselnik
  1. Life is a terminal disease, and it is sexually transmitted.’ – John Cleese
  1. Why did the old man fall into the well? That is because he couldn’t see that well.
  1. When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it’s natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it’s a natural cause. ‘Cause if you were younger, you’d have got out of the way! – Chris Rock
  1. “Remember, being healthy is dying as slowly as possible.” – Ricky Gervais  
  1. You do not need a parachute to go skydiving. Indeed, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
  1. “Proof that we don’t understand death is that we give dead people a pillow.” – Jerry Seinfeld 
  1. During WW2 my grandfather lost his tongue. He just never talks about it.
  1. Do you know why it is said cigarettes are good for the environment? It is because they kill people
  1. A Patient: “Where specifically are you taking me, doctor?”

  Doctor: “I am taking you to the morgue.” 

Patient: “What? Why doctor? But I’m not dead yet!” 

Doctor: “Yes, and we’re not there yet.”

  1. I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for her birthday. She later told me that the gift was the most violent book she had ever read.
  1. They say makeup sex is the best… Which is great, because all the sex I had was made up.
  1. My boss farted right in front of a Jewish client, but a little gas never killed anybody.
  1.  When my uncle Mr. Frank died, he wanted his remains to be put in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was, to be Frank in Stein.
  1. Someone said that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, I would like to tell them that it’s not if it’s poisoned. Then that makes the antidote the most important.


You must truly love dark humor to reach this mile with us, and we hope you had a good dark laugh while reading this long list in this article. 

One piece of advice for you, be careful so your dark humor doesn’t accidentally slip out in front of new people.